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Pipe Down: Dave Sypniewski Dave Sypniewski December 27, 2000 Pipe Down All the negativity and crap about upper management in the magazine is just Dave Sypniewski trying to spread a bunch of propaganda to make people as miserable as he is. Daves been milking his once-pro status for way too long, and were not trying to be the straw that broke the camels back, but he was never all that good at snowboarding in the first place. And you know what? Hes a big a sellout who talks more shit than anyone. Were frickin over it. If theres anyone in snowboarding who needs a Pipe Down, its Sypniewski. Name: Dave Sypniewski Age: 28 years oldyep, hes 28, not 24 like he constantly claims. Sponsors: A long time ago Vans, GNU, Fishpaw, and Wave Rave gave him stuff, but now only the vending machine in the break room helps him out. Transworld Office M.O.: Walks around the office like hes the head honcho, constantly writes Launches about himself, says hes going to quit every other day. His office is a pigsty and he smells like coffee, booze, and b.o. If a pro or advertiser is visiting, Dave insults them until they leave. Overheard Saying: "Shem, I dont know about that photohere, use this one I shot." "These captions suck, Nate. Ill do them." "Morton, you hippie, design those pages with black backgrounds." Recommendation: First off, Dave isnt the photo editor, even though he took a couple of out-of-focus photos. Second, what kind of editor has to use spell check to find out how to spell the word "stupid"? And third, Dave sure as hell didnt get a degree in graphic design from collegehe didnt even graduate from high school. But just giving him a Pipe Down is letting him off easy. In fact, with all the talking Dave does about quitting, we just want to get rid of him, but were not sure if thats what the readers want. So, were putting the axe in your hands. Write us a letter, and tell us why you think Dave should either be: A. Fired.
B. Given a raise. C. Come out of a forced retirement. D. None of the above. I dont even care about this Sniffglueski guy.
By the time Dave sees this Pipe Down, itll be too late for him to change it, so go ahead and write in. His career is now is your handsfeels good, doesnt it? Send letters to TransWorld Media c/o "Dave Is No Ernest Hemingway" or "Dave Is The Best Thing To Happen To This World Since Sliced Bread" 353 Airport Road, Oceanside, California 92054. Anyone who sends in a letter will receive a limited-edition Dump Sypniewski T-shirt. The person who sends in the best letter will also get a free subscription to TransWorld SNOWboarding and a TransWorld SNOWboarding hooded sweatshirt.
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