"The whole state of Colorado is like the Internet; it’s fun to look at,

but you can’t really do anything with it."–J2’s cents.

"Yes, officer, I have been drinking, but just O’Doul’s."–Danny Kass, disturbing the peace.

"I’m not trying to give her a massage on Father’s Day, that’s my shit!"– Marc Frank Montoya on how his baby’s momma was trippin’.

"The message boards are the bathroom stalls of the new millennium."–Lee Crane

" If you don’t give Gaetan an interview, I’ll ---- you in the ass."–J-F Pelchat to a Snowboarder magazine editor.

ﾒYou know, if you knock ’em up, they’ve got nowhere to go."ﾐDave Sypniewski, dad to be.

"Pressing the print button on your computer and then realizing you did something wrong is the equivalent of a butt check when you’re

snowboarding."–retired-pro Cody Dresser coming to terms with his desk job.