October 1, 1998

Hey there. How ya doin'? All right. You want to read some snowboard industry spray? Okay, but let us show you something first. This is part of a letter we got the other day:

"Dear Snowboarding Editor: We would like to submit editorial and art on automotive afterproducts ... blah blah ... Traditionally, our audience has been baby boomers, but boomers are quickly racing headlong into middle age, where their concentration is more on retirement funds and hip-replacement surgery than superchargers and new mufflers ... yadda yadda ... Like all businesses the automotive industry knows it needs the ‘youth market.' We've been touting a project called the X-treme." Blah-vomit-blah-so what, right? Look at the dorks we have to deal with! We get this crap constantly-mainstream companies looking to cash in on the almighty "youth market" dollar by advertising their non-related products in "alternative sports" magazines such as this one. Now, we know the fact that Nike ran ads in TransWorld pisses a lot of you off to no end, but if we really wanted to be corporate sellouts, you'd have a friggin' coronary. They want your money soooo bad. Just so you know ... ummm ...

Canadian ripper Jesse Fulton has hooked up with Sims. Ride recently acquired Justin Mooney, Pete Iversen, and Jon Schurke for their namesake pro team, and Branden Ruff for 5150. We won't talk about the people they cut, but Dale Rehberg just got picked up by Silence. Elan Bushell, Andy Finch, Lukas Huffman, Kevin Jones, Danny Kass, Mikey LeBlanc, Wendy Powell, J2, Billy Summers, Liz Walker, and Brian Thein have all signed to Northwave. Vans might buy Switch (step-in binding system). And Bobby Meeks still has a pro contract, but rumor has it he makes more money shaving his body and jumping off diving boards in tiny speedos in front of large crowds than he does fully clothed, jumping around in the snow on his board. Rob Dafoe has quit snowboarding. When asked why, he said: "'Cause I don't like it, that's why." Actually Rob has been busy taking photos, shooting videos, and making movies of anything and everything that interests him (read: art fag).

Jackson Hole's youngest home owner, Lance Pitman, and roommate Brodie Dowell, have been hosting a series of hick parties-complete with cowboy outfits, Red Bull, and line dancing-for the town's high school population. In true Canadian fashion, Whistler's Derek Heidt threw a kegger for the Euros in his Hintertux, Austria hotel room. He finished the beer before half the guests arrived. Meanwhile, across town, the owner of the Scotland Yard Pub was composing an e-mail to Rossi Team Manager Todd Sarandos regarding a certain team training session: "Bon jour, Rossignol snowboard department. During the last week, we had the ‘pleasure' of having your team riders [J.F.? Aleski Litovaara? Chiodi?] in town. We, that is the Mayrhofen, Tirol, and myself-Peter, the owner of the Scotland Yard Pub. Your boarders [Jonas Emery? Tony Roos? Basterrechea?] have been totally misbehaving [Paavo?] and swearing [no, not Paavo]. They were aggressive and absolutely out of place. They are probably good snowboarders, but they haven't got any behavior [Blue?], and so we were celebrating yesterday when they left our town." Ouch.

Four Star Distribution, the mother ship of the Forum, Special Blend, and Four Square Squads, took their entire roster of team members to Cabo San Lucas. After indulging in some of the local favorite libations on a "booze cruise" at dinner and at a few late night "hot spots," Travis Wood decided to cool things off by emptying the entire contents of a fire extinguisher into the room and onto the bodies and belongings of Four Star worker-bees Veronica Filippelli and Mark Mazza, and Hot Skates owner Rudy Fahell. The hotel wasn't too happy with the one inch thick layer of foam that covered the walls, floors, and furnishings of the room. Mr. Wood's credit card now bares the balance of the mishap. Who says punk is dead?

After fulfilling many boyhood dreams-starting a snowboard company, winning the Baker Banked Slalom in '89 and '97, playing in a band-Rob Morrow decided he wanted to hop a train, hobo style, just for the fun of it. Mr. Morrow began his journey under cover of darkness-falling asleep beside some tracks near his hometown of Salem, Oregon with his hand looped over the rails. The vibration of an oncoming train woke him just in time to hop a boxcar to nearby Albany. Once in Albany, he hitchhiked back to "The Ranch" in Salem (his former home) and called Jake Blattner for a ride to his current residence. Ahhh, twelve hours in the life of snowboarding's elite!

Chris Brunkhart and Ari Marcopolous have teamed up to produce a snowboard flick. It might be called The Walrus Dream, but Ari has a thick accent, so we could have heard that wrong. It will feature Jamie Lynn, Craig Kelly, Erik Leines, the Turd, and many others, but Ari says it's "not just a bunch of riding parts. It's a film about snowboarding-an alternative look through the eyes of two photographers. Some general artsy fartsiness." No word yet on the video's release date. John Sommers, his brother, and some other people also made a film about snowboarding that they hope to convince mainstream television networks to buy and broadcast instead of the current 80s footage misinformation that's aired so frequently. It's called Snow Taxi, and features interview and riding footage of Sommers, Bryan Iguchi, Barrett Christy, Axel Pauporte, Stine Brun Kjeldaas, and Karleen Jeffery, among others.

Ever wonder about single-frame pictures that have trick-labels? You know-ones where the rider looks like he's doing a standard Indy grab, but the picture caption says switch backside 360 tuna-salad poofter-Indy, or whatever? And you have to go, "Yeah, right-I see it," 'cause you weren't there, and what do you know, anyway? But if it was such a big trick, why didn't it run as a sequence? Maybe he didn't land it. Maybe he back-checked, cartwheeled, and ended up lying in a disheveled heap, crying about how the landing was too flat, there was a penny in his shoe, and something in his eye. Can an air without a proper landing really be claimed? Wouldn't adding the word "attempt" to the end of the caption be more honest? If we made that a rule, would we get as many photo submissions? These are the things that keep us up nights.

Red Bull held an "Air & Water" contest in London this August in order to "allow people to experience what it [the snowboarding lifestyle] is all about," twelve snowboarders, including Gian Simmen and Mike Basich launched themselves "into the air from a twelve-meter-high ramp, and [were] judged on the merits of their daredevil midair tricks before they plunged into the water of the Royal Victoria Dock." Sigh. Vans has added snowboarding to their Triple Crown boardsport series, which already includes skateboarding, surfing, and wakeboarding. No details have been released yet as to what format the contests will follow (i.e., halfpipe, big-air, slopestyle, boardercross, or all of the above), but a large prize purse has been guaranteed, and ESPN has already agreed to air the Triple Crown events internationally. Maybe with Vans' involvement in the broadcasts, the shit won't seem so cheezenar. And in East Timor, a small island off the coast of Indonesia that is home to one of the world's last remaining untouched cultures, a whole bunch of people are still being slaughtered in the name of capitalism. That footage probably won't air internationally. You can learn about it at the Spitfire Tour, though-a traveling global affairs discussion and activist forum hosted by Nirvana's Krist Novoselic and Rage Against the Machine's Zach De La Rocha-coming this fall to a college campus near you. For more information contact On Board Entertainment at e-mail: [email protected] or call: (415) 289-1510.

Hey everybody, we bought SOUL! Oops, that should read SOL.

We fugged up. The e-mail address of the Irish Snowboard Association is actually: [email protected]. Sorry, Jamie.

Who was spotted parasailing over the jumps of Mt. Hood looking to add a tech new angle to the follow-cam concept? JAH? Was that you? Dave England, the muscle behind the meat at the now defunct Blunt magazine, spent his mornings eating ham and eggs with one hundred grommets at snowboard camp-where he got a job coaching this past summer. When asked about his career change, Dave replied enthusiastically, "This is all I ever wanted to do!" Eric Leines has a new travel partner for the '98/99 season: Minidog, his mother's newly acquired yapping dog, which Leines brought along with him to Riksgransen. To express its feelings about being lugged around the world, Minidog took the liberty of relieving itself in all of Eric's roommate's boots, gloves, and socks. At present count, Rob Kingwill is proudly displaying 246 swooshes on his person. Best wishes go out to our Finnish friend, Tomi Toiminen, who has been yanked back home by the Finnish army to serve his mandatory term learning how to shoot something. Michi Albin had to blow off a Southern Hemi photoshoot with TWS Senior Photographer Scott Needham to report to Switzerland for his mandatory army sentence, but when he got there the army turned him down. Something about his being too wild ... guess the Finns don't call him "Crazy Steamhead" for nothing.

Jason Pata bought himself a bar last year in Incline Village where Rob Dafoe works as a bartender. If you missed Jeff Petit's Valentine's night party at Pameez bar (more affectionately known as Pata's Place), you missed out on a what was most likely all the girls in Tahoe gathered in one place. So next time you find yourself in Incline Village, Nevada, stop by Pata's. Mention you saw it in Tiny and receive a free drink of water. In other Pata Place news, Jason says the bar is now for sale. He decided he misses sitting on the other side of the bar. In fact, that's all he wants to do. Any interested parties can call Pata at: (702) 831—1350.

Russell Winfield, Jack Coghlan, Roger Madison, Sun Hee Kim, and Ken Koleman are promoting a new golf line called Technical 58-aimed at young people who love to golf but don't necessarily want to look like their dads. They've assembled a team including Jamie Lynn, Devun Walsh, and Ben Ashburner-to name a few. Look for their stuff in skate and snowboard shops this fall. For more info call: (425) 869-5859. Chris Englesman started a line of casual wear called E Tree Clothing. Though not a "golf clothing" company, the stylish blends of cotton should get you on course at a country club with no problem. Rumor has it Brushie is dabbling in the clothing industry also, though we don't know what, where, or when. And industry ninja Sal Masekela has nabbed Russell and some other people for his new snowboard-wear company, Alpha Numeric.

The second Technical 58 golf tournament was a great success in Hood this summer. Because two teams playing a scramble format finished eight under par, a playoff was added. [Editor's note: if you just don't understand this last sentence, or don't give a rat's ass about golf, skip down a few lines.] A clutch putt by Dave Seoane won the playoff for him and his teammates, Andy Hetzel, Steve Astephen, and Ryan Glancey. Meanwhile, as the playoffs were underway, a few of the golf losers of the day were steadily enjoying the liquid libations left behind by the luncheon crew. Canadians soon showed up, and the antics started. Someone, well, everyone talked David Boyce (don't call him Sluggo's little brother) into meatball stunts like ollieing a skateboard onto a picnic table (it took only twelve tries), gorilla bench-pressing an upside-down picnic table, and being the first contestant in a cross-volleyball-court keg toss. Look for more coverage of these antics in the Yellow Sno pages next month with photos from Shawn Fredrick's forgotten camera (but that's another story).