By David Sypniewski and Shem Roose

I’ve lost myself in New Zealand more than once before, so I don’t understand what the hell happened this time. I was stressed out a week before we left, I was stressed every day we were there; in fact, I’m still stressed out. It may have been because we took off from work at one of the busiest times of the year. It may have been that we were supposed to be in Wanaka at the Rip Curl Heli Challenge the majority of the time, instead we were six hours away in Methven. Or it may have just been that I was elected to be our tour director and had no idea what we should be doing.

I’ve tried to write a story about our trip a few times, and each time I find that the events of the first three days could take up the whole article. So to get the majority of events conveyed to you I’ve decided to make a time line. This may be gypping you out of a few "descriptive" paragraphs, but I think it will help you get a better feel for our two weeks of pain.