By Those Fun Luvin' Associate Editors

Tiny Goodbyes

Sad that we're leaving you so soon? "But we were just getting to know each other," you say. "Where are you going?" you plead. Well, we'll tell ya, little monkey ... WE'RE GOING SNOWBOARDING! Ahhhh hah hah hah hah! Wooooooooooo! Goodbye So Cal temperature-controlled warehouse stale-air-having cubicle-city hell! Phbttttttttt! We're free! We're free!

Thanks to the graciousness of the big kahunas in charge here at TWS, selected members of the editorial staff will be accompanied on our winter travels this season with laptop computers that actually work. So if you all start to miss us, we'll be fooling around online until the snow stops falling. Those of you with the resources to own a computer and access to the Internet should take a moment to reflect on the fact that some people in this country can't afford to eat, so you're pretty stoked and shouldn't have much to complain about. Then go to www.twsnow.com and check out our "snowboarding super-site"-hell, bookmark it. It's gonna be a party.

All right. Let's get this shit over with. Ingemar made his pro comeback by taking first place and winning 50,000 dollars and a fancy expensive automobile at the Air & Style, but hopefully you read about that in our Variables column last month. Tina Dixon is going to be/already has been (we're writing this in December, you won't read it 'til March-who knows when things really happen) on the cover of Maxim magazine. In between designing his signature Technine binding, hanging with Sammy the dog, and shredding, Ali Goulet assaults the Audi racing world-this time with the triple-roll-over of his brand-new car. Ali, being a seasoned professional driver, walked away from the wreck with no cuts, breaks, or bruises. Technine/686 Enterprises rider/entrepreneur E-Stone is missing in action. Last words: "Screw this small-time shit. I'm going into big business." KUUSPORT would like to publicly congratulate its rider, Katherina Himmler of Germany for placing first at the Swatch BX (boardercross) World Cup in Solden, Austria, and Wille "Bloody Tiger" Yli-Luoma is quite possibly the craziest driver in the whole world.

The ISF wants you all to know that they neither condone, nor have anything to do with, the creation and distribution of any of the anti-FIS stickers currently circulating about the industry. Because the ISF doesn't want to perpetuate the antagonism, we don't know what the stickers say, but it has something to do with putting-down competitors who've switched federations.

Whiteface Mountain in New York bought a Pipe Dragon and has a lift-serviced pipe that is rumored to be "bigger than Killington's." Or it will be as soon as it starts snowing in the East. Big Sky has a new park and pipe that's open to both skiers and snowboarders-we'd worry, but it's Montana and nobody up there gives a crap what you've got strapped to your feet. Montana's also just given birth to the newest ski area in North America. It's located on the west side of Flathead Lake and is described as "a family place." Ross Peterson says, "The terrain probably rips."

Windell's Snowboard Camp is holding winter snowboard camps for all ages and ability levels. You may have already missed the weekend camp at the end of February, but four more week-long camps are being held throughout the month of March, and from April 29 through May 5. Call 1-800-765-7669, fax (503) 622-4582, or e-mail [email protected] for more information.

"Don't make it look like my friends are pussies."-Dave Boyce. Ahem ... A posse of Seymour kids, including Dave Boyce, Kevin Sansalone, Derek Scott (or Derek and Scott), Johnny Q, and Swaro were accosted after a party at Whistler by some shady youths wielding bottles. Everyone knows that fighting is the last resort of the weak-minded, so the Seymour kids cleverly avoided the conflict and boldly sauntered to Boyce's place for more nonviolent partying. At the end of the evening, the posse bade Dave farewell and strode outside to become victims of a surprise attack. The aforementioned shady youths jumped the posse before they knew what was happening. Had they been prepared, the Seymour kids-being as manly and tough as they are-surely would have triumphed. Unfortunately, though, Sansalone was knocked out cold, Johhny Q's nose got broken, and Derek had to have his ear sewn back together. Apparently, for one week in September, a bunch of resorts in Colorado offered 200-dollar season passes. Of course instead of getting shitty ski-corp jobs to get free lift access, many locals bought the season passes and got better-paying jobs closer to home, so now a bunch of resorts are understaffed. Or they were when this was written. And that's the story. You can borrow it sometime, but you'll have to pay us a dollar.

Congrats go out to Burton team members Jeff Anderson, Trevor Andrew, Jason Brown, Chris Brown, Cara-Beth Burnside, Joe Curtes, Dave Downing, Shannon Dunn, Derek Heidt, Bryan Iguchi, Leslee Olson, Maelle Ricker, Natasza Zurek, Team Manager Barry Dugen, and Team Photographer Jeff Curtes, who are all now proud holders of Level One Avalanche Awareness certificates. They all took an intensive week-long avalanche certification course in Cataldo, Idaho early season in order to self-educate and promote backcountry awareness, so we suggest you follow their lead.

According to SnowSport Industries of America, 3,700,000 people in North America alone snowboard, so I guess we can't claim "underground" anymore. However, while you're out fooling around this winter, remember that once upon a time, in the early years of skateboarding and snowboarding, people didn't rely on big corporate magazines to dictate what their world was about. All they needed was a point-and-shoot camera, some paper, a pen, a glue-stick, a Xerox machine, and a little imagination. (Actually, this still happens in skateboarding.) If snowboard culture keeps going down the boring road to snoozeville like it is now, we're holding you all personally responsible. Reality is what we all make of it-so make something. And then send it in here c/o Tiny Type and we'll help you get it out to the people-word-of-mouth style. Nike don't read Tiny, dig?

If Jaime Macleod rides for Forum, doesn't that make it the Forum 9? Tim Ostler is riding for Smith. Travis Byerly is riding for Ride. Adam Hostetter and apparently Ami Voutilainen are clicking-in now for Shimano Snow Technologies. Annie Fast got moved to Airwalk's B team. Brodi Dowell is riding for Zeal optics. Luke Wynen has signed to Sims' pro team. A bunch of riders are sponsored by Sugar Bowl (Tahoe). Props to that resort for hooking so many riders up. Bruno Musso is riding for himself now. We're going to miss you, Bruno. Risto Scott is riding for M3 (MLY). Dionne Delesalle has been riding for Rossi for a while now, but we forgot to announce it. Oops. And last, but not least, the lineup for the new Seven team is as follows: Jason Brown, Jeff Anderson, and Rahm Klampert in North America; Christian "Gigi" Ruf and Sani Alibabic in Europe; and Narufumi "Bear" Yoshimura and Yoshinari "UE" Uemura in Japan. So now you know.

Morgan LaFonte and the Make A Wish Foundation granted a wish to a young girl in eastern Washington with a terminal illness. The girl, Natalie, wanted to spend a day with Morgan more than anything else, so Morgan took her riding December 30. For those of you younguns who don't know, Morgan is one of the original badasses, and anyone who disagrees can step.

Aspen Skiing Company is implementing a boycott of Atlantic swordfish in all its on-mountain and hotel restaurants until an adequate federal recovery plan has been implemented or declining swordfish populations have recovered. Publicity stunt, maybe-they're claiming that "it's estimated that at present rates of depletion, swordfish will become commercially extinct by the year 2005," so it sounds kind of serious. No life-form on this planet should ever go extinct because humans are wasteful f-ks. Call Aspen at (970) 923-8770 if you want to find out more.

If you need help planning a ski vacation this winter, the folks at www.skiresorts.com and www.skitops.com (two completely separate organizations thrown in the same sentence for convenience) would like you to know they're available to help you spend your money. Snowboarding didn't make it into Nickelodeon's "All-Star Sports" theme issue again this year. Damn. Burton is holding a women's demo tour-essentially demo days for women to check out Burton's women-specific products-at Big Bear, California, February 27; Hunter, New York, March 27; and Boarding for Breast Cancer, Sierra-at-Tahoe, California, April 27. Burton will make a donation for breast-cancer research for every board demoed. Nixon Watches is online. They think they're all hot now 'cause Eric Clapton bought one of their watches in Europe. Big deal. It's not like it was Method Man. You can check out their goods at www.nixonnow.com

The first snowboard video in history to be released in DVD (digital video-the latest technology where you can skip non-linearly around the video like a CD) is going to be FLF's (Fall Line Films) last two movies, Kapow! The Mountain Adventure and Ticket to Ride. (Yes, two for the really expensive price of one.) We accidentally didn't review Kapow! in our January issue-it features the riding of Jason McAlister, Kevin Jones, Marcus Egge, John Sommers, Rocket Reeves, Karleen Jeffery, and others.

On the way to the Vans Triple Crown in Breckenridge, Colorado the K2 team, driven by E-tree, was pulled over on I-70 at Copper Mountain by a cop who'd been trying to flag them down since Vail. Having been clocked at 81 mph while swerving all over Vail Pass (from checking out lines off the side of the road, of course) the irate officer was about to write them a nasty ticket when an elderly couple pulled up and forced the cop to leave and tend to a real roadside emergency. You can ask the K2 team about this, and anything else you're curious about-from trick tips to relationship status to why Brodi Dowell isn't pro yet-on K2's Ask A Pro Web site (www.k2snowboards.com/scene). Ask Lance Pitman how to do a backside 360, it's his favorite question.

Vegetate '99-the annual halfpipe, slopestyle, boardercross, and big-air contest extravaganza held to raise money and awareness to Mt. Hood's award-winning native wildflower re-vegetation program-is scheduled to take place at Mt. Hood Meadows March 25—28. Call (503) 287-5438 for more information. Tom Burt's Second Annual PigFest Classic is being held at Alpine Meadows April 9—10. The halfpipe contest format follows the rules of the classic b-ball game, Pig-each rider calls out a trick (or maybe a run-we're not sure) beforehand; if the trick is executed, the next rider has to also stick the trick or pick up a letter, and so on. The last person to spell out PIG wins. All contest proceeds are being donated to the Boys and Girls Club of Kings Beach, so check it out 'cause it's gonna be a good time. Call (530) 581-8321 for more info.

Since some of you may be turning your thoughts to summer camp, we'll leave you this season with one more story: Once upon a time, an innocent little snowshredder came to Windell's snowboard camp for summer fun on the glacier. He was a good kid, got along with the dig crew, and stayed for a number of sessions. On the final day of camp, he decided to play a little prank on the coaches and diggers-he flattened the tires on the entire fleet of Windell's company vehicles and "on mountain" transportation. This wasn't very nice. Little did the felon know, the AZP Surveillance Crew was picking him up on a live video feed. The jokester thought he pulled a clean getaway, but during "dis-borientation," camouflaged diggers grabbed him, stripped him down to his tightie whities, and tied him to a tree in the middle of camp. The entire camp was then invited out to see the coaches and diggers decorate the lad with kitchen, bathroom, and condiment delights. Remember: be nice to the tranny installers.

That is all.

In new snowboarding camp news, Allen Clark and Jon Greenglass plan to bring a camp to Brohm Ridge in Squamish, B.C. that has something no other camp can claim-an 18-foot deep pipe. This monster of a tube is sculpted by full tilt gnarler, Canadian Greg Todds and will lie on a 24 degree slope. Coaches will include: Trevor Andrew, Kevin Young, Chris Brown, Kale Stephens, Mike Orr, .... The sessions are limited to only sixty kids so get on it. Bring your skate-there's a ramp. www.superpipe.org or call 604-938-2476

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