It's been a while since the last issue of Snowboarding's down and dirtiest info virus, The Snowblower. Okay, we know it. But we've been busy doing all kinds of stuff that we can't exactly talk about right now.

During the time we were doing the stuff we can't talk about, a lot of other stuff happened, so this issue of blower is really, really, long. Don't worry. It will probably load faster than you can read (duh, you are snowboarders, after all). Plus, we have a special treat hidden at the end for those tenacious enough to get all the way through.

SAY WHAT?
"When I'm in front of a computer I want to be making money. If I'm in front of a television I want to veg." --Chris Sanders, Avalanche.

"Despite the lack of 'alternative' and 'grungy' fonts, we hope you will still consider this magazine a voice of Generation X." --Gen X apologists, Andy Wright/Jared Eberhardt in Medium Magazine <www.medium-mag.com> Number 6.

"Rotten-rado? Pretty much there is no reason to go east of Salt Lake City. There is nothing out there." --Dave Sypniewski's feelings on the state immortalized by John Denver's hit song, "Rocky Mountain High."

"It's a good site, SO FAR. When are you going to wreck it?" -- Snowpunq, an SOL reader with a lot more insight into the inner workings of America Online than anyone should have.

MASH MEDIA
Reuters recently reported (isn't alliteration a wonderful thing), that "When not in the company of supermodel Tyra Banks, Seal [the musician] keeps in shape by snowboarding and taking on the likes of Regis Philbin, Andre Agassi and Boris Becker in tennis. He says he's ``useless at tennis but quite emphatic about it.'' And who said snowboarding wasn't burning out in the noonday sun?

T-Dub's Snowboard Life Magazine seems to be taking their "adult snowboarder" groove all the way to the bank. The ad on the back cover of this season's first issue is from some super-glam watch manufacturer. Geez, what's next Rolex and Rolls Royce? Town and Country Magazine better look out.

In a recent Vanity Fair article on Sandy Hill Pittman, the media-glomming climber of Mt. Everest and ex-wife MTV creator Bob Pittman, the magazine reported that, "Base Camp was an incestuous little community. . . It wasn't long before the camp was buzzing about a 26-year-old snowboarder who was sharing Pittman's sleeping bag." Okay, anyone know where Tom Burt was last Spring?

Rumor has it that Harper's Bazaar and Conde Naste's "Women's Sports" were head hunting last month for the cutest lil' pros in snowboarding for their fashion spreads. The top names on both lists were Victoria Jealouse, Barrett Christy, Shannon Dunn, and Tina Basich. And if that isn't coincidence enough, both on-snow fashion shoots were scheduled at Mt. Hood for the same day. Maybe they should have just hired one over-paid New York fashion photographer and shared the photos.

The super-down magazine Drift (published by Christine Sperber and Michael Burnett and paid for by Todd Richards) released their summer issue. It is titled "Very Metal." It rocks live at Budakhan with a Marc Frank interview, coverage of the very corporate UnVailed event sponsored by Magnavox and Snapple and other cool stuff. Support your local independent snowboard magazines. For more info call: (503) 272-3452.

Oh yeah, be sure to read Medium Megazine everyday. They also have a website on the "geekernet" at <www.medium-mag.com>. Check it out. Yes, that's an order.

GENERAL HOSPITAL
Matt Cummins broke his collar bone motocrossing. Is this just another part of the Cummins family curse?

Jason Ford was out with an injury for a bit during July, but it's nothing compared to the spectacular injuries sustained by John and Mike. Seems Jason strained some muscles around his knee from riding a new stance a little too hard in the pipe at Hood.

NO SNOW DOWN SOUTH
Every year snowboard companies descend on the lower hemisphere for fresh photos to fuel their catalog/magazine coverage for the coming year. This season there may be a problem. As of the end of July, South American resorts were basically shut down due to lack of snow. This has led many photo shoots re-routing to location number two: New Zealand. Unfortunately reports from that part of the world aren't much better. According to Dave Downing there is a smattering of snow on dirt--and that's heli-boarding. This could be a major problem for companies who, after a late season in the US this year, were hoping to get the much needed shots.

ROAD TO RUIN
Tim Manning was recently piloting the K2 Lincoln Continental down from Timberline to Govie when the doggone brakes went out. Being cool under fire, Manning threw the car into a slide and launched the hunk of American steel right into the wilderness. Tim somehow missed most of the forest and landed somewhere between two large pines. No one was hurt and other than the brakes and a blown tire, the Lincoln is in fine shape. In fact, Tim changed the tire and drove the car the rest of the way down the hill minus several passengers. They decided to hitch it the rest of the way.

Jason Ford also dented his BMW, but that was a long time ago.

Russell Winfield spent a little time in the poky for a past driving infraction but got out in time to "borrow" a team trophy that Burton won during the Gorge Games at Mt. Hood in July. This time we don't think he'll get caught.

LOVERS AND FIGHTERS (The Hard Copy Scoop)
Peter Line has a new girlfriend named Julie from Denmark. She rides for Burton. What, you want details? How should we know.

Morrow super-star Josh Dirksen was seen smooching a Scandinavian Morrow rider named Jenny Jonsson. This is according to Kris Jamieson. Does he have an alterior motive?

K2's Brian Savard asked Shelly, his longtime girlfriend, to marry him. Actually, that's all we know. We have no idea what her answer was. Brian?

Greg Goulet is hanging out with Teeter, the youngest Sperbilicious one, who's name reminds us of a book by T. R. Pearson called "A Short History of a Small Place." Since this isn't the 1984 issue of the New York Times Review of Books we'll spare you.

But we will interrupt this LOVE CONNECTION section for a special news bulletin: Shannon Dunn loves country music.

Andy Wolf ended up with a little blood on him in a recent scuffle out in front of the Rathskeller. Photog on the scene without a camera Gary Land said, "I don't carry my camera around to get photos of people fighting."

SWAP MEAT
Andy Hetzel is gone from Palmer. He left for greener pastures. But he's surely down with Fila. But what about those new board sponsor rumors? We've gotten nothing but Silence from the man.

Shannon Melhuse has left Rossignol and signed with Portland, Oregon based Molly Manufacturing.

Michelle Barnas is now riding for Hooger.

Russell Winfield signed up with the Silence Team for about four weeks. Now he's gone. Why Russel, why?

Kyla Duffy left Mervin for Yang and Hooger, just don't let her get behind the wheel.

Bombshell just signed K2 rider Amy Wakefield and Rossignol rider Amy Johnson. These two women will round out the Bombshell team which includes Christine Sperber, Burton's Kellie Wright, and Katrina Glusac who rides for Nidecker.

April Lawyer signed on with Lamar.

Avalanche just signed Nicki Larson to their team

CAR TALK
Someone at Subaru America should start kicking down the coin for snowboarders. Lately, the Subaru Outback has become the car of the stars. So far those riding under the Subaru hex include Shannon Dunn, D. David Downing, Barrett Christy, and Adam Hosstetter.

STIMULATION
On Board Entertainment (OBE) has hired Stimilon to build the big air jump for their demo out in San Francisco August 1st at the Shoreline Amphitheater. According to Stimilon's Dave Olcott the jump they're building will be the largest man-made non-snow jump built in North America. "We are designing it out of scaffolding, covering it with snowcarpeting (similar to astroturf) and blowing crushed ice on it with a cherry on top! 19,000 seats." Gee, sounds like the Evil Kinevil days are just around the corner.

While we're on the Stimilon groove, the company has also been hired to do the entire OBE North American Snowboard Series (NASS) tour, a series of big air, rock band, Board-Aid like gatherings next winter. For more info call Stimilon (802) 864-2020 or OBE 212-787-2678.

RANDOM CHAOS
Kris Jamieson was recently mulling over his great achievements in the world of snowboarding (as he often does), when he came to the realization that he has taught a lot of pros how to snowboard. Those on the KJ King-of-All-Teachers list are: Temple Cummins, Marisa Stoller, Kellie Wright, Greg Goulet, Ross Peterson, Blaise Rosenthal ("I was the first person to make him jump off the Palisades at Donner when he was being a pussy"), and Kevin Sanislone. We're sure KJ thinks the list is longer, but we'll have to wait until next week when he starts mulling again.

Stratton is planning to light their halfpipe this winter, and might just start selling halfpipe-only tickets. New England dirtbags rejoice.

Burton filmed a TV commercial at Hood in late June. K2 filmed theirs as well. Seems all companies are ramping up for the Winter X Games where they'll cloud the cable world with effective snowboard advertising. Mmm, can't you just smell the sales.

Jamie Lynn bought a big black Ford truck 4x4. Black as night. Funny thing is, it's not a Dodge Ram. Excuse us, but aren't they the cool trucks to have these days?

The End. Oh yeah, we almost forgot: here is your "special treat."