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Lessons
Learned My name is Robert Atkeson. My wife died of breast cancer in September 1997. She was a very strong woman, but she was not very assertive with her doctors. That's where I come in. She was 32 when first diagnosed, and survived for eight years during which she went through every treatment possible. I believe that 90 percent of what kept her going that long wasn't so much the treatments as her strength. What I learned in this 8 year battle is as follows: First, women should start doing self-examinations as early as eighteen years old. The media and the doctors always seem to focus their energies on women 40 and up. Throughout my wife's ordeal, I saw many women in their twenties who were in the hospital for breast cancer. Second, when a lump is found, don't trust a needle biopsy. Doctors can sometimes miss or go through the lump altogether. This is what happened to my wife. It took another four months to find cancer, and by then it was also in her lymphnoids. There is no way to know for sure if it wasn't already there. The very small scar that would've been left on my wife's breast to remove the lump had it been detected earlier would have been a much smaller consequence than her life. I understand the emotional feelings a women goes through about having a scar on her breast, but that small scar my save you life or extend it. Cancer in whatever form has a tendency to spread to other areas especially if it gets into the lymph system. I am proud of myself for staying with someone I love until the last minute. It was hard and still is. Tell all young women to be assertive about there care. Tell them to have the lump removed. Tell them to tell their mates to help them battle this terrible cancer. Tell them to learn everything they can about cancer. Tell them they are not alone. When my wife lost her breast, it bothered me for six months. Not because of how she looked to me but how she looked to herself. She thought it bothered me and stayed in the bedroom and wouldn't come out. The media and society has convinced women that they have to have perfect bodies. It was hard to convince her otherwise. My wife proved to me that she had more strength than all of us. All women of this earth, we need you for the emotional well being of this earth. Without you we will die. To all men I challenge you to stand by our women whether married or not. Young and old. I am not good at writing my thoughts or all the information that I have learned. But It really comes down to one thing. LOVE. If anyone out there has questions that I can help with, please feel free to e-mail me. It also helps me. To the families and friends of breast cancer victims, my deepest thoughts are with you and may you switch your thoughts to the great times you had together. Time does not heal all wounds, but it will lessen the pain. Remember money helps, but awareness is more important. Love to you all, and have a good time for a great cause. Robert Atkeson |
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